Back in the Game!

I thought I'd finally blog about my running adventure since getting back into the thick of things and healing from my stress fracture this winter.  Life sure does have a way of throwing snowballs and poop balls at us, doesn't it.  Sorry, but it's going to be a long post.

Well, I am definitely back to running and that makes me soooo happy I can't even tell you, but my body sure is feeling it a lot more this time around.  I think maybe I'm just not easing into it quite as slowly or maybe that extra birthday has something to do with it but I am certainly just as determined, just a little bit more tempered, shall we say.  I may not seem as gung-ho, but that's just because life has thrown me for some loops and has some more in store over the horizon.  Life is kind of funny that way.  I can't get out and run the way I did last year.  Sometimes it makes me kind of sad.  But I'll learn to deal with it and make running happen someway, somehow.

So I finally got to run my first race since being back and it was special because it was the anniversary of the very first 5k I ever ran, the Legacy Midnight Run.  I have been training for this one by following another audio podcast by my personal running coach, (that's how I refer to him, I'm kind of obsessed) Todd Lange.  He's the guy that made "5k101" which got me started and all the way to my first 5k in a matter of 2 months and I seriously can't praise the guy enough.  I used his "10k101" program as well and it kicked butt, literally.  This time I did "Your Fastest 5k," which is a 4 week program to help you set a new PR for a 5k.  (For those that don't know, that means Personal Record and is your minutes/mile).  Holy Hannah Hard, and I loved it!  My goal was to see how much I could improve my time from the same race last year.  Results?  Well, I kind of don't know.  See, I ran the race and I ran it hard, which was awesome.  But as I was getting close to the water stop and the area where the turn around was last year I was mentally talking through that.  But there was confusion at the stop and they were telling everyone to keep going.  So I kept going, and going, and going.  I finally got to the turn-around point and made the long haul back.  At that point I was getting tired and it was kind of a struggle to keep up my pace, because mentally I had been prepared for 3.1 miles and even though I had been on a number of 4 and 5 mile training runs, I wasn't in a frame of mind for running at a good speed for a longer distance.  My goal was just to run pretty fast (for me) for that 3.1 miles.  But somehow I kept it up to the end.  When I got to the finish line I picked up my results and shook my head because it said I finished in 48:49 and ran a pace of 15:29/mile.  Yeah right.  Last year I finished in 37:32 and ran 12:04/mile and I can tell you I definitely ran a heck of a lot faster this time.  If I didn't then something is wrong with me.  So I stuck around for the awards ceremony to find out what the deal was.  When they started to announce the first awards, the guy said, "And for 3rd place...in the 4.4 miler."  Say what?  You heard me.  4.4 freaking miles.  (The 10k people ended up running 8.2 miles - that's supposed to be 6.2).  Kind of not cool because I wasn't able to accomplish my goal in a way.  Kind of way cool because I accomplished a lot more than I bargained for and that feels really good.  If you do the math my minutes/mile was actually 11:02 so a full minute off of last year which is nice, but I can guarantee you that if the race had been the right distance I would have been a lot faster.  I'm even going to go out on a limb and say I would have done a 10:00 mile.  I placed 4th in my age group and 41st overall.  I feel really good about that.  I have since gotten an apology email from the race director explaining how they messed up so bad.  Something about trusting the job to someone else and GPS error.  Technology is really great sometimes, isn't it?  Anyway, one thing I can say is I'm well on my way to a 10k, which is good because I - wait for it - signed up for another half-marathon, and this time I intend to run it and not to break any body parts training for it.  It's the Snow Canyon Half-Marathon on November 2nd.  And I couldn't be more thrilled because I pretty much dig that place and spent most of my family vacations there growing up.

As you can see from the blurry red-eye picture above, I was decked out in my blinking butterfly wings and antennae, and super awesome color-changing shoelaces for the race.  Let's not forget the reason for all of this running now.  My sister Nicole, my favorite butterfly,  continues to inspire, motivate, and amaze me with her determination and resilience and she is now officially listed as a US Paralympic Professional Snowboarder!  The Paralympic Games in Sochi Russia are just 8 months away now.  I can't believe it!  And guess what?  Nicole is a runner now too.  I'm so psyched over this latest development.  I can't wait for the day when we will cross the finish line together.  That will be the Best. Day. Ever.  And we will both cry.  She just never stops being awesome.  My brother Jon also made his racing debut.  He's a punk.  (Sorry Jon.  Love you Bro).  He didn't even train, hasn't ever run a race in his life, and got 1st in his age group, 5th overall.  Dude.  He didn't get his medal because he didn't stay for the awards ceremony.  It was already past midnight and he didn't even realize I don't think.  He hadn't even planned on running it.  He was actually going to walk it to support his wife, my SIL who had to pull out at the last minute due an unfortunate circumstance.  I hope she is feeling better and I look forward to a future opportunity to do a race with her.  Keep at it Corrie!  I'm rooting for you.  This whole running thing has been kind of contagious in my family which is so funny.  I would have never thought in a million years that anyone in my family would be running.  So far 9 of us have participated in races if you include the kids 1k's.  Yay! 

Of course I have to include a song to end my post.  I have selected "Bigger Than My Body" by John Mayer.  I listened to this song quite a bit while I was out of commission with my stress fracture.  The mantra of this song really speaks to me.  Something that is really difficult for me to talk about is my personal struggle with Bipolar Disorder, but it is another reason that running has been so powerful for me.  (*Now I want to make a disclaimer.  Please tread lightly and don't judge me for choosing to talk about it in this post.  I thought very carefully about it before I chose to include it.  I don't talk about it very often, or with very many people, other than the jokes I crack now and then.  I try to keep things light for the most part, but in reality it is a very serious part of my life).  I have a lot of demons that like to haunt me and a lot of things that at times are out of my control.  Running is one thing that has helped me prove to myself that I can take back the control.  I can win some of the battles over my head.  I can be bigger than my body and my mind.  I don't have to throw up my hands and let myself be defeated when I feel like I am past exhaustion mentally, emotionally, or physically.  I can always dig down deep and find more fight, more reasons, more strength.  I think about Nicole, who definitely proves that she's a giant. That's what this song means to me.

Gratitude

This weekend was beautiful.  Nicole got married right on the mountain that she calls home as a snowboarder and it was breathtaking.  Seriously, where else do you get to ride the ski lift to the top of the mountain for the ceremony and then get to ride the alpine slide back down to get to the reception and party?  Of course, not everyone was required to brave the slide, but all of the COOL people did it.  Even I rode it in my high heels and pencil skirt, so yes it can be done and yes the bride rode down in her dress.  And you should have seen all of the flowers.  They were amazing!  Of course I'm probably biased because I got to spend 3 hours immersed in them helping to put everything together.  The theme was "vintage rustic" and there were every kind of wildflowers you can imagine straight from a local farm.  We had fun with that project and we did a pretty rockin' job, if I do say so myself.  Nicole is one of the most resourceful people I know and she pulled off an amazing wedding on a very tight budget.  She's been one very busy gal, but it all came together when it counted.  I hope that it was everything she's dreamed of.  It was beautiful, but simple with a little bit of both Tom and Nicole's signature senses of humor.  Oh Tom!  We all love you.  You are quite a guy.  There were plenty of yummy cupcakes, a candy buffet featuring Nicole's favorite candy, Frooties, and all of the classic cheesy dance songs.  Yeah, I haven't done the Macarena and the Boot Scootin' Boogie since probably High School.  It was just relaxed and fun.  I think the most entertaining part was watching the flower girl (my niece Courtney) dance with all of the groomsmen until they were ready to drop.  She was in heaven!  Nicole you were a stunning bride!  And you are an amazing woman that will continue to inspire me, not only because of your example on the snow and all the obstacles you continuously overcome, but because of the beautiful person inside and out that those obstacles have helped you to become and all of the dignity and grace that you show no matter what you encounter.  I wish nothing less than the very best things for you and all the happiness your heart can hold.

With that in mind I'll take just a moment to get back to the running.  I am finally starting to get back into the swing of things I think.  I have not yet run any races.  I am tentatively hoping to find a race for the last Saturday in June, that's 2 weeks away.  I won't be able to do the Color me RAD race I had planned on because I need to go support my son Cody as he participates in his first Irish Step Dancing competition on the same day as that race.  He's pretty excited and he's actually pretty good too.  That is one lesson that I've needed to learn, balance.  Last year was awesome, my determination and motivation were riding so high and it took a really high level of commitment in order for me to get from having never run before to running not only my first 5k but pledging to race each month.  But now I have caught the running bug and I want to run so much, but I have to do other things sometimes instead.  That's kind of hard for me.  But I have found myself giving up runs I had planned on because I just really needed to stay home with my family and Cody that night.  Now that summer is here it is getting too hot to run during the day (and Cody is out of school) so I'm going to have to figure out how I'm going to fit in runs.  I just might have to bite the bullet and get up super early in the morning so I can go before my husband leaves for work.  Anyone who knows me, will know this is a very difficult thing for me to do, but if that's what it takes, so be it.  I'll figure it out.  Please never mistake any of this as less of a determination or passion.  I think we all know that life has many seasons and running came at me at a turning point, a new season.  But as with all seasons, they don't last forever.  It's kind of sad for me.  I wish it could always be the way it was at first, but now I'm entering a time to learn whatever new lessons running has in store for me.  Coming up in July is the Legacy Midnight Run, which is the same race that was my inaugural run a year ago so I will definitely be running that one.  I've been planning on it ever since I crossed the finish line.  And I'm super excited because I will have my SIL Corrie and brother Jon to join me.  Let's see if I can sucker anyone else into it....
This is a FUN race.

One of the things I'm looking forward to most though is this:http://instagram.com/p/acVIcBNkZo/
Take a look.  Nicole got her first running leg!  Best day of my life ever, besides seeing Nicole compete at the Paralympics will be the day that we both cross the finish line at a race, together.  She kicked around the idea of getting a running leg a while ago, but when she revealed that she had actually gotten one I freaked out.  She tried it on and says she has a long way to go.  First thing is she has to get it fitted right.  But I just know she is going to be giving me a run for my money one of these days because, well, this is Nicole we're talking about after all.  Pretty awesome sauce!

My song dedication for this post is going to reflect the general feeling of gratitude I have experienced over this past year.  And also remind me to be thankful more often in the times when it is most difficult to be thankful.  There are a million little reasons for us all to be filled with gratitude every day of our lives no matter what the circumstances might be, no matter how difficult or trying times might get.  Running, and the time I have spent not being able to run, have taught me to be more grateful.  Nicole has taught me to be more grateful.  All of the people who have influenced my life or expressed their support in my endeavors have taught me to be more grateful.  Even all of the downright painful things I have had to go through have taught me to be more grateful, in fact those things have probably taught me most of all. I have spent too much time living my life in fear of the unknown, stuck inside my own self, living for tomorrow, not realizing what is right here today that won't be there tomorrow.  These are some of the lessons I have to learn.  I am finding that running seems to be a great teacher.
So here is the song.  It is "Thankful" by Josh Groban.  Maybe you can take a moment and think about how grateful you are and see what lessons your life is trying to teach you.  Have a beautiful day!

Missing the Boat.

Well it's April.  The month I was supposed to run my first ever half marathon.  But as life has a tendency to happen, I hit a snag along the way a couple months back.  Sometime around the first part of February I was super pumped to head out for my first 10 mile run.  I didn't quite make it that far.  I should have stopped at 3 miles, but I kept pushing it, as a lot of crazy runners probably would have, and made it to 8.5 miles, then limped the last 2 miles home.  I thought it was just tendonitis or something and took a good 2 week break, took it really easy.   I was upset with myself because I had known I needed new shoes for at least 2 months but kept putting it off and it had become very apparent over the course of the last few weeks of running that my shoes just weren't cutting it.  So I went out and got some new shoes.  It was really hard to try on shoes when I couldn't really run, I tried but it wasn't great.  So I thought I'd take it slow and try a couple easy runs.  The first two went ok, but I wasn't sure about the shoes, but I figured they would need some time for breaking in.  So I went out a third time and this time it wasn't so good.  Over the next few days things just got progressively worse to the point that I finally broke down and called a doctor.  Ended up being a good thing too.  I had myself a nice little stress fracture.  Lovely, because that was honestly the very first thought that went through my mind on that fateful Saturday morning when I hit mile 3.  I thought to myself, "Oh no!  I sure hope I don't have a stress fracture.  I can't.  What if I can't run?"  So the doctor wrapped my foot up and gave me a lovely little sandal to wear.  I'm not going to lie folks.  This little bugger of an injury hurt like the dickens.  I keep telling myself there's some lessons I must need to be learning from all of this.  I knew an injury like this was bound to happen at some point.  I was just hoping it would be later, rather than sooner.  But, who knows.  Maybe sooner is better than later.

For one thing, this has shown me just how much running has come to mean to me.  It has been so hard for me not to run.  But, at the same time, I haven't been willing to go against dr.'s orders because I'm taking it seriously.  I want this taken care of right so that I will be able to have a whole life ahead of me of running.  I would never have thought I would say this, but I have actually started crying when I am driving down the road and I see someone out running and I know I can't run too.  It's killing me.  How crazy is that?!?

I have had lots of people comment to me about how inspiring this all is and stuff.  But guess what guys?  Confession time.  My motivation through all of this has been seriously lacking.  I thought that I could at least hop on the bike trainer a couple times a week and maybe do a little pilates or yoga, or strength training.  Yeah right.  Instead, I have been sitting here stuffing my fat face.  I have good news though.  After 3 1/2 weeks in the wrap (+ the 3 weeks before I went to the doctor), I am finally free and I went for my first walk a few days ago, my first steps back.  So it was just a leisurely walk around the neighborhood, but it was such a beautiful night out and it gave me back some much needed perspective.  In fact, maybe that's what all of this has been about.  Maybe I have needed a big scoop of fresh perspective.  I have been so driven to hit my goal of running one race each month until the Paralympics and I really put a lot of pressure on myself over that because of how much my sister (and hero) Nicole means to me and how much I wanted to do something to show her my support.  And honestly, a little selfishly probably, because I thought it might make her proud of me.  There I said it.  And then I wanted so bad to push my limits, just like she always does, by taking on a half marathon and running Ragnar in June (yeah, that's out too, oh well).  I had this place in my head where I couldn't even imagine not doing any of those things.  The thought was unacceptable to me.  Like, this whole thing would have been a failure if I didn't live up to my expectations, even though I know that's absurd.  I was so afraid of letting Nicole, and everyone else who has been so supportive, down.  But, as a few have reminded me, things like this happen.  I'm not letting anyone down because I got an injury.  Athletes get injured all the time, teams come in last place, and you know what?  They come back.  Remarkably, they work through set-backs.  I think I felt like I had this, it's-now-or-never kind of mindset.  But it's always Now!  I guess maybe that's the point.  I have put my whole heart into this.  I really have.  When I started, Nicole had been away from the competition scene for an entire season and had barely even made it on to the snow at all in the entire previous year.  She was feeling a little bit down and out to be honest.  I really felt like I could do something to give her a boost.  And I think I have done that.

Here are some of the things she's been up to.  She demoed a sweet new knee in competition, and while she didn't have her best runs, she fell lots, it was a fabulous way to start out her competition season.  To be fair, it was a brand new knee to her, she hadn't had any time to train on it and it is a completely different kind of prosthetic than the one she has always used in the past so I think it is amazing she could just strap on a totally foreign piece of equipment and head right out there with all of the other snowboarders.  She placed 3rd in Copper Colorado and was invited to compete at the Slovenia World Cup, where she placed 4th.  Then she was off to the Canadian World Cup and had a fantastic race.  She had a 2nd place finish in a 4X4 heat (4 racers head to head), despite being the last one out of the gate.  And her official standing is 3rd in the US and 4th in the World!

I have had a number of people say I have inspired them to start running too.  The only person that I had actually follow all the way through to a race had been my awesome niece Megan.  But I am now very happy to report that it is a coworker who has been working on the running goal for awhile that is the one who will be pulling me out of this low point.  She invited me to join her for the SLC Color Me RAD 5k on June 22nd.  And the cool thing is there's a bunch of cool ladies that want to do it, so we have a whole team to run.  This is awesome because June 22nd is the same day as Ragnar, which is a team relay I was supposed to be running.  Something you should know about me is that I happen to be someone that believes things happen for a reason and that things aren't just a coincidence so my thanks goes out to Meghan Eames.  I think you are just awesome for sticking with it over the long run.  I really, really needed this the day you posted it!

I'm still not completely sure about my foot.  It still has some pain and I don't know if it is because it is weak now or what.  My legs feel like they're going to give out on me any minute.  I've got some work to do to get my head back in the game.  I will be doing the 5k in June, even if I have to walk across the finish line.  I will tell you that I am not the same person that stepped on to the treadmill about 10 months ago now.  This is quite a journey I've been on this past year.  I have learned a lot of things.  And I have a feeling there are still a lot of things running has yet to teach me.

In case you'd like to get a peek at Nicole on her snowboard, here is a little video of her demo-ing the Bartlett Tendon Knee.  As you can see, she was born to ride.  Check it out on her website at
http://www.nicoleroundy.com/bartlett-tendon-demo-day/

And for your listening and viewing pleasure I have chosen to end with a catchy little tune, In The Middle by Jimmy Eat World.  I think it fits today's theme quite nicely and I had to use this video just because it is absolutely ridiculous and will likely cause seizures and had me ROFL.  And I could use a good laugh these days to boost my morale.  How about you?  I hope you enjoy but don't blame me for any medical emergencies it may induce.